Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
