so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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