he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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