'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
