Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dignity is for republicans.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
