I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
