Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
