There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
