I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
