Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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