my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
