I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
