Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
where are my eyebrows?
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