You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
