Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
