tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
