brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize