We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
