is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
