Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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