summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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