What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize