Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
