Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
