Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
