I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
