If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
