put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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