Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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