I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
