I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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