I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Never joke about your clitoris.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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