Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
