I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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