Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
