do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
