Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can text with my tongue
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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