I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
