We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
a search helicopter?!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
