3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
