Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
