my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize