got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize