never play flip cup with pint glasses
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
