I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
