There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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