My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
