"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
