get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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