How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
