I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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