I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
