I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
