Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
