She announced her abortion via fbk
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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