Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
