there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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