I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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