Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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