I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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