Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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